This Pride Month, We Need You to Choose a Side

By Ashley Heidebrecht, LMSW

Every June, rainbow flags rise across cities, corporate logos take on temporary bursts of color (although…that looks a bit different this year…), and many of us, especially those in the LGBTQ+ community, reflect on how far we've come and how far we still have to go. Pride Month is a celebration, yes. But first and foremost, it is a protest. And this year, more than ever, amidst corporate “allies” abandoning ship and some Democratic politicians advising that we leave transgender people behind, we need to talk about something uncomfortable but urgent: the silence and complacency of heterosexual and cisgender people in the face of escalating political attacks on LGBTQ+ lives.

I’m not talking about the outright brazen discrimination and dehumanization that is clearly a central tenet of right-wing politics, but rather the quiet yet insidious side-stepping and deliberate ignorance regarding the current situation surrounding LGBTQ+ identities, particularly transgender women and girls. The right-wing focus and narratives on the LGBTQ+ community is the biggest dog whistle to get us to fall in line, no matter if you’re queer or not. Because while drag queens and trans youth are being painted as threats, while queer families are being turned into talking points, while books are being banned and healthcare stripped away, the truth is this: harming and erasing the LGBTQ+ community is not the end goal, although it is a desired objective.

We are being used and abused as a distraction. And this dog whistle is playing right into our society’s collective manufactured discomfort about all things related to sex, queerness, and the gender binary that they so desperately what to keep us in a chokehold. That discomfort is why so many cisgender and heterosexual people keep dancing around LGBTQ+ equity. And unless cisgender and heterosexual people, especially those who believe themselves to be decent, kind, and open-minded, start pushing past their unease, confronting their own biases, and naming what’s happening out loud, we will all lose far more than what a rainbow flag can cover.

History of the Manufactured Moral Panic

Let’s start with the obvious: no one actually becomes a danger to society by using the pronouns that match their identity, wearing clothes that make them feel safe, or loving someone of the same gender. But if you listen to certain politicians, media outlets, or social media influencers, you’d think LGBTQ+ people are tearing apart the moral fabric of civilization.

This is not an accident. This is not a misunderstanding. This messaging is deliberate. And this narrative is old and tired as hell.

From colonialism to the present day, dominant powers have used narratives about gender and sexuality to justify abuse and erasure of LGBTQ+ people, and to control the behavior of cisgender and heterosexual men and women. European colonial empires, particularly those operating under Christian rule, imposed rigid gender roles and criminalized same-sex relationships as part of their so-called “civilizing” missions. Many Indigenous cultures across Africa, the Americas, and Asia recognized gender diversity and embraced same-sex relationships or fluid identities in spiritual, social, and cultural contexts. But colonizers labeled these practices as depraved, immoral, or demonic, erasing them under laws and religious doctrines that upheld binary gender and heterosexual marriage as markers of "civilization."

But this was never really about protecting morality. Morality and civility in this context have always ultimately been a tool of control, cultural dominance, and enforcing patriarchy, ensuring that queer people were either dead or in the closet, that women lived for the pleasure and ease of men, and that men performed the prescribed behaviors to maintain their place in the halls of power. These colonial attitudes were deeply intertwined with Puritanical and patriarchal views of sexuality that took root during colonization of what we now call the United States. Women’s sexuality, when not focused on the pleasure and needs of a man, was deemed shameful, deviant and insane. Queer people’s sexuality, because they defied Puritanical/Biblical standards, was also associated with shame, deviance, and insanity, but was also made completely illegal.

Under patriarchal systems, sex was permissible only within marriage, under male authority, and for reproductive purposes. Anyone who stepped outside of these norms especially LGBTQ+ people, was labeled as deviant. Rather than being seen as full human beings, queer people were reduced to sex acts and pathologized as hypersexual or predatory. Sodomy laws purposefully linked same-sex sex acts, bestiality, and pedophilia together under one law, and colonies began instituting them beginning in the 1640s. This adoption continued into the 1960s when eventually every single state had a sodomy law. And while the Supreme Court officially ruled sodomy laws unenforceable with Lawrence v. Texas in 2003, in 2025 12 states still have them on the books. Because being gay and pedophilia were linked together in the legal system for over 400 years through sodomy laws, that association is deeply imbedded in the views society has about queer culture, especially gay men, including Drag Queens.

We'll come back to that narrative in a moment, but first some more important context for the mid 20th Century. The 1950s gave rise to a targeted insurgence of anti-LGBTQ+ propaganda. As World War II had just ended and the Cold War was beginning, the US obsession with Communism began. LGBTQ+ propaganda of the time was directly tied to McCarthyism and anti-Communism, with the birth of the Lavender Scare founded on the belief that gay men and lesbians were inherently more susceptible to Communism, and resulted in the mass expulsion of gay and lesbian people from government positions. This also moved beyond federal government and into institutions of higher learning. This Communism narrative was used to further ingrain the idea that queerness is counter to "American" values, and because queer people were deemed to be inherently more susceptible to Communism, that meant that they were inherently un-American and inherently immoral. The belief at the time was also that "homosexuality" was something that could be "trained" into another person, and that gay men specifically were recruiting. And, if gay men recruited heterosexual boys into their "lifestyle" then those boys wouldn't be fit for military service anymore...LGBTQ+ moral panic was again a tool of control for a larger political objective.

So as McCarthyism was in full swing, it was necessary to protect boys from the "immoral Communist" gay men. In 1955, “Boys Beware” was released. This 10-minute film discusses "the dangers of homosexuality," which is described as "a sickness of the mind," and portrays gay men as predators and pedophiles. The video was produced by the Unified School District and the Police Department of Inglewood, California. Versions of this video were used in classrooms and other educational domains through the 1970’s. It is linked in this paragraph, and I highly encourage you to watch it. Pay attention to the language used.

Pedophilia continues to be a dominating political dog whistle related to Drag and gay men in particular, with the term “grooming” being used in conjunction with anything that may in any way be affirming to the LGBTQ+ community, including gender identity. And NO ONE wants to be associated with pedophilia. It is easier to go along with the right-wing ideology and try to legislate LGBTQ+ people out of public spaces than it is to address the centuries of programming that tells the world we are depraved predators eroding the moral fabric of America.

That phrase, the “moral fabric of America” is a central part of the moral panic framework. The phrase gained mainstream political use in the mid 19th century as the United States grappled with social changes, including immigration, and continued through the 1920s. The phrase gained a resurgence in the 1970s and 1980s as conservativism became front and center in the political landscape. Important movements during this time include Anita Bryant's "Save Our Children" campaign of 1977, portraying queerness as a threat to children, and the founding of The Moral Majority.

The Moral Majority was founded by Jerry Falwell, was a prominent political organization founded in 1979 that sought to mobilize conservative Christians to engage in political activism and influence American politics based on “traditional” moral values, to “restore the moral fabric of America”. This group emerged on the heels of the Civil Rights Movement, in the midst of the rise of Feminism and women being able to have bank accounts and credit cards independently, in the midst of the LGBTQ+ rights movement, and after years of anti-war protests, with their mission being to return the US to its “foundational beliefs.  This group helped to pave the way for a rise in conservatism and the eventual election of Ronald Reagan. The Moral Majority played a crucial role in uniting various Christian groups, advocating for issues like pro-life policies and opposing the perceived moral decay in society, including queerness.

The 1970s also saw the founding of The Heritage Foundation of Project 2025 fame, and in 1981 they provided President Reagan with the Mandate for Leadership. This was the very first iteration of what is now Project 2025. The Reagan administration implemented or initiated roughly 60% of the 2,000 policy proposals from Mandate for Leadership. While this original document didn’t explicitly focus on LGBTQ+ people like Project 2025 does, it did focus on reshaping public discourse on issues like civil rights, with a specific recommendation to halt affirmative action policies. It is important to note that LGBTQ+ visibility continued to rise during the Reagan administration, and the AIDS epidemic emerged. This tragedy was unfortunately used as more fuel for the narratives of sexual deviance which were enforced on the queer community, specifically gay men. Moral judgement was placed on victims of the epidemic, until AIDS began to surface in heterosexual spaces. Throughout this time, the right-wing political movement continued to grow, and AIDS propaganda gained prominence as an argument against the queer community’s “deviant lifestyle”. If you would like a glimpse of how the AIDS epidemic was viewed before it impacted heterosexual people, I recommend this powerful video, Reagan Administration's Chilling Response to the AIDS Crisis.

Today’s Moral Panic

This framing continues to shape how heterosexual and cisgender people relate to the LGBTQ+ community and continues to cause shame to fester within the LGBTQ+ community. Because queerness has long been misrepresented as synonymous with sexual deviance, many non-LGBTQ+ people fear that engaging in open conversations about gender and sexuality will associate them with something immoral. This fear is not accidental—it’s a result of deliberate moral conditioning. Political movements through the centuries, including the anti-trans legislation and we see today, rely on this aversion to make them successful, by painting LGBTQ+ visibility as inherently immortal, deviant, and dangerous to children or family values. It is fueled by persistent shame or fear of public shaming, born from colonialism, religious control, and patriarchal norms. Breaking out of it requires more than tolerance; it requires reckoning with the systems that taught people to equate queerness with danger.

Today, right-wing political actors are using the queer community, especially trans and nonbinary people, as scapegoats to stir up fear, redirect attention, and consolidate power. While these tactics are not new, what is new, however, is how swiftly this misinformation spreads through social media, how closely it is tied to legislation, and how willing many cisgender, heterosexual people are to looking away despite the fact that information about what is happening is widely available. But remember, as with the history of this particular moral panic, it is a tool of control. So why us? Why are LGBTQ+ people being targeted so relentlessly?

Because it works. We are already misunderstood and surrounded by stigma. We are frequently isolated in communities that don’t know how to talk about us, let alone support us. There are centuries of narratives already at play. When politicians claim they are protecting children or standing for “family values,” they are not addressing real social threats, they are manufacturing villains to distract from the erosion of rights that affect everyone. Look closely, and you’ll see the broader picture. The same lawmakers banning gender-affirming care are also rolling back reproductive freedoms. The same school boards removing queer books are censoring Black and Brown histories. The same influencers vilifying LGBTQ+ people are pushing anti-democratic ideologies. Harming LGBTQ+ people is not the end goal, although it is an objective. The goal is control. The goal is compliance. The goal is fear.

They are selling you a story: that trans kids are dangerous, that drag is inherently sexual, that queer people are recruiting, confusing, or indoctrinating. These are lies. Flat-out fabrications. But they are effective lies because they tap into discomforts that we have  been taught for centuries, and which we’ve been told not to examine too closely, for fear that we may be associated with any form of queerness or named as a culprit in the erosion of our “moral fabric”.

Your Discomfort Is Not Neutral

But I get it. Talking about queerness might make you uncomfortable. After going through the history of the development of this moral panic, I hope you can reflect on the reasons why. Maybe it’s not queer people that make you uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the centuries of propaganda which have enforced that queerness is 100% centered around deviant sex acts that makes you uncomfortable. We can all fall victim to this conditioning, including queer people. Maybe you’ve never had a reason, or never felt you had permission, to question what you were taught. But questioning is what we must do. Heterosexual and cisgender people must be willing to lean into the discomfort.

And it is important to understand that discomfort is not the same as harm. If seeing a Drag Queen makes you uncomfortable, that does not mean that individual has harmed you in any way. If you see a news story about a transgender girl running track and it makes you uncomfortable, that does not mean that individual has harmed you in any way. This is the same type of relationship with discomfort and harm that we see regarding race. A white woman sees a Black man jogging in her neighborhood and calls the police. Why? Because the white woman is informed by centuries of white supremacy and racism and has chosen not to address it. She has been conditioned to believe that Black men are unsafe. Seeing a Black man in “her” neighborhood is uncomfortable, and because she is informed by unaddressed racism, she interprets discomfort as harm (he is imposing on my space and comfort). She then CHOOSES to act on all of those feelings and thereby perpetuates the cycle of racism.  

When you hear a politician rail against “gender ideology” or “protecting children,” you may feel a subtle sense of agreement, not because you hate LGBTQ+ people, but because the unfamiliarity makes you uncertain. And uncertainty, when coupled with loud voices offering simple (but false) answers, makes it easy to nod along. But this is where the danger lies. That subtle discomfort, left unexamined, becomes complicity. It becomes the foundation that enables harmful policies. It becomes the fertile soil in which hate grows. And it does grow. We've already seen laws criminalizing parents who support their trans children. We've seen bans on healthcare, education, and speech. We've seen books removed, drag shows threatened, and Pride celebrations canceled due to fear of violence. This isn't a matter of opinion. It is a matter of policy, power, and strategy.

So rather than immediately assigning the cause of your discomfort as the Drag Queen, or the transgender girl, do yourself a favor and turn away from that emotionally charged homophobic and transphobic programming we’ve all been fed. Dare to think, and decide if your response is really in line with the person you are or the person you want to be. Decide if you want to hold onto the programming that keeps us under political control, or if you want to let it go. Discomfort is often the first sign that growth is possible.

Why Your Voice Matters

This is why we need you, not just as allies, not just as friends, but as active participants in a struggle for collective liberation!

We need you to stop whispering your support and start speaking it loudly.

We need you to interrupt the jokes, challenge the misinformation, and correct the record. even when no LGBTQ+ person is present.

We need you to examine your own discomfort. Ask yourself: What makes me hesitate to stand up? Why do I feel uneasy about using someone’s correct pronouns? What fears do I hold, and where did they come from?

You do not need to have all the answers to take a stand. You only need to be willing to learn, to listen, and to act. Because if you’re waiting until it directly affects you, it will be too late.

It’s Not Just About “Them” Anymore

One of the most insidious parts of the current wave of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation is that it often contains broader implications. Again, remember, this is about control, and patriarchal values and anti-LGBTQ+ narratives are effective tools of control. Bills that claim to protect children from LGBTQ+ “influence” are often so vaguely written that they restrict any discussion of identity, race, history, or bodily autonomy. Book bans that begin with queer stories often spread to include civil rights, reproductive justice, and labor movements. Surveillance laws designed to monitor trans people end up targeting everyone’s privacy. Bathroom laws requiring people to use restrooms according to their sex assigned at birth end up with cisgender women being attacked in public restrooms.

This is not just about the LGBTQ+ community. This is about all of us.

If they can criminalize parents for affirming their trans child, they can criminalize any parenting choice they disagree with.

If they can remove books with queer characters, they can remove books about any community.

If they can decide which identities are too “inappropriate” to acknowledge in schools, workplaces, and hospitals, they can decide that about yours, too.

Silence will not shield you. Compliance will not protect you. Only solidarity will.

This Pride, Choose a Side

It is no longer enough to “not be homophobic” or “not be transphobic.” In this political moment, neutrality is a luxury that marginalized people cannot afford and privileged people must reject.

So this Pride Month, ask yourself:

• Have I challenged anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric when I hear it, especially in private?

• Have I supported policies that affirm queer and trans people’s rights?

• Have I pushed back against misinformation in my community, school, or workplace?

• Have I educated myself instead of asking LGBTQ+ people to always do it for me?

• Have I voted, and organized, to protect everyone’s freedoms?

We cannot do this alone. Nor should we have to. Pride was born out of resistance. Queer people have always had to fight for our lives, our dignity, and our place in society. But history also shows that when enough people say, “No more,” the tide can turn.

We are asking you, cisgender, heterosexual people, to say “no more.” Loudly. Publicly. Consistently. Because if you’re not helping to build a world where LGBTQ+ people are safe, free, and fully human, then you are helping to maintain the one where no one is.

References:

Phillips-Fein, K. (2024, June 6). The mandate for leadership, then and now. The Nation. https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/the-conservative-promise/

Rittenberg, J. (2025). Don't Let The Hate Distract You: Anti-LGBTQ+ Attacks as a Tool of Campaign Disinformation [Undergraduate thesis, Ohio University]. OhioLINK Electronic Theses and Dissertations Center. http://rave.ohiolink.edu/etdc/view?acc_num=ouhonors1743008644086474

Wiesner-Hanks, M. E., & Kuefler, M. (2024). The Cambridge World History of Sexualities. volume I, general overview. Cambridge University Press.